Don't say that a loving God is going to send you to hell - He's not. Let these funny Hell Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day. That's relativity.- Albert Einstein, Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.- Groucho Marx, Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.- Anonymous, Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.- Benjamin Franklin, The feeling of friendship is like thatof being comfortably filled with roast beef;love, like being enlivened with champagne.- Samuel Johnson, Life is like a sewer...what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.- Tom Lehrer, An excellent man;he has no enemies;and none of his friends like him.- Oscar Wilde, It's so sweet, I feel like my teethare rotting when I listen to the radio.- Bono, When I hear a man preach,I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.- Abraham Lincoln, Contrary to general belief,I do not believe that friends are necessarilythe people you like best,they are merely the people who got there first.- Peter Ustinov, Procrastination is like a credit card:it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.- Christopher Parker, Computers are like Old Testament gods;lots of rules and no mercy.- Joseph Campbell, Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.- Anonymous, I like a man who grins when he fights.- Winston Churchill, Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.- Dwight D. Eisenhower, Gods always behave like the people who make them.- Zora Neale Hurston, There is so much that must be donein a civilized barbarism like war.- Amelia Earhart, Always remember that you are absolutely unique.Just like everyone else.- Margaret Mead. Hell hath no limits, nor is circumscribed In one self place, for where we are is hell, And where hell is there must we ever be. If you are going through hell, keep going. Discover and share Funny Quotes About Hell. If they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees. It hears howlings that are to be perpetual; it sees flames which are unquenchable; it knows pains that are unmitigated. Your trial is already over. Falcyn, “What the hell. You do not sit ... To be a writer is to be the very best of assassins. They give lip service to repentance and faith, but they've never been born again.

"I don't know many people who haven't slept with him at one time or another." Hell is alone, the other figures in it Merely projections. - because to be guilty is to live in hell.Not being guilty, you will have the freshnessof dewdrops in the early morning sun,you will have the freshness of lotus petals in the lake,you will have the freshness of the stars in the night.Once guilt disappears you will havea totally different kind of life, luminous and radiant.You will have a dance to your feetand your heart will be singing a thousand and one songs.- Osho, Life is like a ten speed bicycle.Most of us have gears we never use.- Charles M. Schulz, Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -only the last couple seconds are fatal,but most people are scared to death the whole way down.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Yesterday is like a dung heap;you can complain about the smell,or you can use it to fertilize tomorrow's garden.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts, It's cookies, he smells like cookies,and the smell gets stronger when he's in heat.- the movie Michael, Love is like an hourglass,with the heart filling up as the brain empties.- Jules Renard, When you are courting a nice girlan hour seems like a second.When you sit on a red-hot cindera second seems like an hour.That's relativity.- Albert Einstein, Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.You've got everything except one thing: madness!- the movie Zorba The Greek, A relationship, I think, is like a shark.You know? Clothing is optionable." If we go to hell, it's by our own choice. If all the earth and sea were sand, and every thousandth year a bird should come, and take away one grain of this sand, it would be a long time ere that vast heap of sand were emptied; yet, if after all that time the damned may come out of hell, there were some hope; but this word EVER breaks the heart. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. 65 quotes have been tagged as funny-as-hell: Lili St. Crow: ‘Discipline allows magic.

That the saints may enjoy their beatitude and the grace of God more abundantly they are permitted to see the punishment of the damned in hell. Multitudes of people who expect to go to Heaven will go to a Hell of torment. Little sins unrepented of will damn thee as well as greater. You get into the habit of writing every day so that when she shows up, you have the maximum chance of catching her, bashing her on the head, and squeezing every last drop out of that bitch.”, “I [dad] spent hours on the phone. Hell is the highest reward that the devil can offer you for being a servant of his.
The whole extent of hell, the present suffering, the bitter recollection of the past, the hopeless prospect of the future, will never be thoroughly known except by those who go there.

And when a man who professes to be converted says that he goes into the world and into sin for pleasure, it is as if an angel went into hell for enjoyment.

Do you know with whom? I believe that a great number of people are going to die and go to hell because they're counting on their religiosity in the church instead of their relationship with Jesus to get them to heaven.

God keeps no half-way house. If then, you will be damned, let me have this one thing as a consolation for your misery, that you are not damned for the lack of calling after; you are not lost for the lack of weeping after, and not lost for the lack of praying after. Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -you see, I have friends in both places.- Mark Twain, Marriage is neither heaven nor hell,it is simply purgatory.- Abraham Lincoln, Why wait until you're dead,when you can create your own Hell right here and now.- Jonathan Lockwood Huie, Some days just go to Hell faster than others.- Mary Anne Radmacher. You've already been sentenced.
And you know he’s packing.

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